Losing Faith in the Human Race


Today I am to speak to you about something a little more on the serious side. I would like to talk to you about a lethal condition which is currently spreading across the globe, gradually forcing its way through the majority of young people of my generation, and the generations after mine. This condition is known as utter, mind numbing, making me lose the will to live, brain cell obliterating, severe stupidity.

Those suffering from this condition are primarily those of us who were more susceptable to peer pressure and were more impressionable. People like this have now been overcome by the illness and have become…chavs. Mindless, English Literature abusing, blackberry utilising chavs.

Seriously, though. My sister had a friend stay over last week, and the most part of what they were saying was incomprehensible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not old, I’m not totally behind with new slang words and shit, but it literally sounded as though they were making up new phrases and abbrieviations as they were going along. Allow me to demonstrate:

Nope, I can’t do it. My intellectual brain simply has not allowed me to memorise their strange new language.

This, along with ridiculously long fake nails, filthy orange skin, back-combed hair (which, by the way, just makes girls look like hobos), fake tits, flat tummies, air head tone of voice, hard girl/tough front to hide the fact that they cannot stand up for themselves for shit, and dumbass attitudes, had caused me to lose all faith in humanity.

Although most of these people reside in the generations after my own, this disease is beginning to infect more and more people of my age group. IT IS SPREADING PEOPLE, AND IT MAKES ME SICK. Physically sick.

It disgusts me to see the future of our society, scientific and intellectual progression and world in general go down the gloopy, green drain pipe which is the bane of my existance.

Whatever happened to real girls? What happened to natural beauty? What is so wrong about being smart that some people feel as though they need to “dumb themselves down”, to get ahead socially? What’s wrong with being pale instead of looking like you’ve been gang banged by Crayola?

Take some pride in yourselves, people! Come on. Let’s get back on track now, the joke’s over.


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