Category Archives: Random

Losing Faith in the Human Race


Today I am to speak to you about something a little more on the serious side. I would like to talk to you about a lethal condition which is currently spreading across the globe, gradually forcing its way through the majority of young people of my generation, and the generations after mine. This condition is known as utter, mind numbing, making me lose the will to live, brain cell obliterating, severe stupidity.

Those suffering from this condition are primarily those of us who were more susceptable to peer pressure and were more impressionable. People like this have now been overcome by the illness and have become…chavs. Mindless, English Literature abusing, blackberry utilising chavs.

Seriously, though. My sister had a friend stay over last week, and the most part of what they were saying was incomprehensible. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not old, I’m not totally behind with new slang words and shit, but it literally sounded as though they were making up new phrases and abbrieviations as they were going along. Allow me to demonstrate:

Nope, I can’t do it. My intellectual brain simply has not allowed me to memorise their strange new language.

This, along with ridiculously long fake nails, filthy orange skin, back-combed hair (which, by the way, just makes girls look like hobos), fake tits, flat tummies, air head tone of voice, hard girl/tough front to hide the fact that they cannot stand up for themselves for shit, and dumbass attitudes, had caused me to lose all faith in humanity.

Although most of these people reside in the generations after my own, this disease is beginning to infect more and more people of my age group. IT IS SPREADING PEOPLE, AND IT MAKES ME SICK. Physically sick.

It disgusts me to see the future of our society, scientific and intellectual progression and world in general go down the gloopy, green drain pipe which is the bane of my existance.

Whatever happened to real girls? What happened to natural beauty? What is so wrong about being smart that some people feel as though they need to “dumb themselves down”, to get ahead socially? What’s wrong with being pale instead of looking like you’ve been gang banged by Crayola?

Take some pride in yourselves, people! Come on. Let’s get back on track now, the joke’s over.


Why I Don’t Use WordPress Popularity Cheats

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, what I mentioned in the title are the cheat methods which are often presented to you by people who follow you on WordPress, who’s profile’s often state that you can gain a ridiculous amount of new followers and readers if you simply pay “just”…..your fucking life’s savings.

Okay, that may have been a slight exaggeration, but you get what I mean. These people are claiming that if you pay a certain amount of money, thousands, if not millions of people will somehow magically discover your blog.

Now, whether this may or may not be true, who of us would actually want to do this? Don’t we all want people to follow us due to our writing/blogging/photography/artistic abilities, rather than how much money we’ve given to god knows who?

If you still don’t see where I’m coming from then you clearly have one of two outlooks on the situation.
#1: You just don’t give a fuck.
#2: You’re new here and haven’t experienced this situation.

Me? I’m fairly new here, but I’ve been around long enough to know that I am strong enough to not cheat to gain folowers/likes/attention. There’s also the fact that I’m broke.

But you know, whatever.

The Window of Opportunity

I was standing by my bedroom window just now, looking out  across my jungle of a garden, my view restricted slightly by the roof of the extension below and the neighbouring house.

My eyes darted quickly to my right as a bird swooped down and landed on the extension roof besides mine. I thought to myself, “quick, get a picture!”. Sure, it was just a pigeon, but I’ve never seen one get that close to my bedroom window before. Plus, the fact that it swept down from the roof above makes me wonder if there are any nests up there. I’ll have to find out somehow.

But anyway, no sooner had I snapped the picture than the pigeon had flown away horizontally across my view through the window.

This got me thinking. Imagine the window I was looking through was not a literal one, but metaphorical. The Window of Opportunity. Now, imagine that pigeon was all of your hopes, your dreams, an opportunity which has presented itself before you in that specific moment, but your contemplation over whether or not to take that opportunity has resulted in it spreading its wings and taking flight. Right in front of your eyes. The Window of Opportunity closes, and the shutters are drawn.

This goes to show just how quickly your life passes by. Opportunities can come and go in the blink of an eye, in the beat of a wing. So grab every opportunity as it appears. Or don’t. I can’t tell you what to do.


Broken Plate

A while back my Mum was loading the dishwasher, went to take another plate out of the sink and revealed a broken plate underneath it, right at the bottom. The weird part was though, it hadn’t just broken in half or completely shattered, it broke into different sections like…well, I’ll show you:

Weird, right? To this day, I still have no clue how it happened. All I know is that it looks fucking cool. Don’t worry, there is a point to this post. Sort of.

I have assumed that there is a moral associated with this plate coincidence. Yes, that’s right, I am crazy. You’ll get used to it. Anyway, the moral. When something beautiful breaks (plates hold our food. They are beautiful), it may seem bad at the time, but it could just be life’s way of transforming it into something even more beautiful.

Do with that what you will.